When it comes to entertainment, we all have our favourites, but when it comes to films that centre around food, we may all just be that little bit more particular. We want to be titillated at the food shots, engrossed by the conversation and we want the storyline to run as smooth as a perfect gravy, or something else that runs smooth. You’ll forgive us.
But as we all know, food films, sorry, great food films are hard to come by. So we had a thought, are there previous films or series that we would want to see a sequel to? The answer is yes! Here we go, our pleading to the Hollywood elite to make these, any of these possible, we know you can do it.
It had more memorable lines than Anchorman, turned a generation into Pinot Noir lovers and made us all want to get in a car and actually visit Napa Valley avoiding all the trappings of golf courses and hit the wine cellars instead. For those that missed it first time round, you could call it a great bromantic comedy, others, the perfect indie road trip movie. What it is, is a gateway to the American winemaking dream and potentially did more for the valley since 2005 than you can imagine.
But why was it so good? The realism to start. The handsome groom (Thomas Hayden Church) to-be, that was just badly behaved but with his heart in the right place kind; the neurotic, depressed best man (Paul Giammati) and the line that captured a wine lovers everywhere, “I am not drinking any fucking merlot!”
So what could the storyline be? Could Miles (Giammati) be getting married to his love interest in the original film? Could it be in France or Italy? Could his best man, Jack (Hayden Church) land him in all heaps of trouble with the local police, wine trafficking perhaps? It even has the possibility of another Merlot-esque line, “I am not drinking any fucking prosecco!” Come on, make it, please!
Our go to, feel good about life film. The indie hit that caught us all sideways but that left the average person hating their desk job and with a penchant for food truck ambitions thinking, this could be it; this is my moment to start that hot dog truck I’ve always wanted. People did, and for some it’s turned out to be a great career move, for many others, they’re still a slave to The Man.
The original film saw the crumbling of head chef, Carl Casper (Jon Favreau) who, in a complete rage which includes the lines “it’s fucking molten” and “you smugly shit on my shit” loses his temper and job thanks to a food critic’s judgement on a previous visit. Queue the disgraced Chef re-discovering his passion for cooking after the meltdown when starting a food truck with his best friend (John Leguizalmo) and son (Emjay Anthony) in the art of making cubanos. Filled with shots worthy of the #foodporn awards, this is a quintessential modern day food film classic.
Potential storyline? We’re not sure, it would need to involved a road trip, like the first; maybe the death of the food truck business, or worse, street food. Maybe Trump outlaws non American food and the chef is forced to make mac n cheese… good god…
A food lover’s guide to food in film, that is the best way to describe this masterpiece. It had scintillating shots, progressive storytelling and something that lacks in most of today’s wider blockbusters, great acting. There we said it, attack us now Hollywood…
Welcome to the world of Secondo (Stanley Tucci) and Primo (Tony Shalhoub); first generation immigrant brothers from Italy who, through in house bickering and Jersey Shore clientele have sent them to near bankruptcy. Queue, the Big Night, one final evening to turn their fortunes around in the most extraordinary ways.
What happened with the brothers? The restaurant? Did it pay off? Did the clientele become a little more cultured? Could they end up being revered yet estranged from one another only to come together to fight the scourge of all things “shit internet videos of people fucking up pasta” well, that’s how we see it playing out. The scriptwriters can borrow that line, if they want. We never knew we needed these food heroes until now. Come back Primo, come back Secondo.
Super Size Me
Hello you, yes you, pre 2004 you. You remember you, right. That naive person who thought that a big mac a day will let you live a happy and healthy life? The person that would never say “no” to a supersized cup of coke and more fries that you could ever handle. Well, that fucking disappeared when Morgan Spurlock ruined it all for us, didn’t it.
The film that caused ructions in the food industry and made people think that little bit more about the fast food world. Yes, we had Mad Cow disease before that, and we knew that these burgers were not really good for you, but in Spurlock’s case, he was the guinea pig for all of us to see what happens when you consume too much of the golden arches. For 30 days, Spurlock had 3 McDonald’s meals a day, and if he was ever asked, “would you like to supersize it” he had to say yes. The effects are mesmerising and disturbing; from massive weight gain to horrible mood swings and test results that showed everlasting heart damage.
We need another Spurlock moment of genius. Maybe a diet of purely supplements for 30 days to show that a) you don’t need them and b) you will not end up like Arnie unless you lift like the Austrian powerhouse oh and take those special vitamins…
Master Of None (series 2, Episode 1)
OK, we have been very specific but for a very good reason, this episode could easily be a feature film and we think Azari knew that when he made it. It has the feeling of il Postino and Julie & Julia but with that cool, new age feel that we have come to love with these Netflix originals.
So why this episode and not, say, episode 2 or 3 or… you get the picture? Dev (Ansari), who after series 1 moves to Italy to learn the art of pasta making appears to be at complete ease. He is speaking Italian, he is doing everything ala Italiano and getting over a relationship from his ex, well kind of. You’re introduced to the beautiful Francesca, the cheeky Mario and the chauvinistic tile salesman Pino. Dev, has his phone stolen and this is where you learn all about Italian life, policing etc. It has notes of Fellini, Marcello Mastroiani and the Pink Panther.
It could last 1 hour 30, you could see Anzari connect with, Sarah whom he met at Osteria Giusti and see that fizzle faster than a Brexit negotiation (sorry!) etc. It wouldn’t ruin the storyline for the rest of the season, but we think, make it that bit richer.