It’s 2018, if you haven’t noticed, and for some reason, everyone is giving something up, which is cool if you’re dabbling too much with class A drugs or chemical weapons, but now, apparently we all need to give up meat, or was it alcohol?
“New year, new me” is nothing new. Nowadays though, it involves attention seeking and an Instagram feed that attracts anything but the word, humble, to its far reaching echelons.
Veganuary has hit us like a wilted piece of over steamed spinach and the other day I was asked to give money to someone who has stopped drinking for all of 30 days. No, really, I was, I have since de-friended such person, they are lost to me and well, humanity. It’s not a major loss.
Whilst Supermarkets now stock for the seasonal trend of veganism, and social media pariahs get to extoll their virtuous bounty of beans in a “ragu” making “oooh’s” and “ahhhs” in their Instagram feeds. They look like a deranged onomatopoeic self loving, in a biblical sense, food deity to their communities, us normal folk are asking, why?
Meat and alcohol are not your problem. You, my now self emancipated friends are the problem.
Lewis Hamilton is your poster child, and that’s ok if you want to be an angry, poorly dressed racing driver with questionable tantrums that make you also think that’s the meat eater trying to escape one of the most soporific humans the world of F1 has seen. Nigel Mansell thoroughly dethroned on the later.
And those looking to stop drinking and “give their liver a break” what say you to, drinking a glass instead of a bottle? Didn’t that occur before you asked me and your former friends for money for this most valiant of efforts? You’ve been duped my friends. Played like an Irish fiddle in an Ed She Ran melody because here’s the truth.
No diet, fad, or portmanteau month is going to give you self enlightenment. Buddhist monks train for years, in dressing gowns devoting their life to ominous displays of silence and you, you’re going for a month. Slow clap you…
We’re in 2018, where we have information at our fingertips, our phones are gateways to truth and knowledge, if used correctly, and you’re still playing with self obsession on being part of the tribal crowd that also partake in Veganuary and Dry January.
Remember the myth of “clean eating?” What about Atkins or worse, Paleo? No one hunts for their venison, or picks their berries, especially harder when you live on a dual carriageway in Milton Keynes, oh and it’s 2018. Don’t give me the nonsense of marketing (that’s what I do by the way, market, things) to tell me about one the virtues of the new diet you’re on. We’re bombarded that meat is bad, then good, and you look at the studies, the ones taken, and you can see, balance, moderation is what the scientists call for. Let’s not talk about the rise in eating disorders in men and teenagers. Let’s not speak about how drastically changing your diet can lead to these things because there is nothing cool about that on your heavily filtered Instagram feed, is there? Also why is there no cool month to talk about these issues? What would the callous marketer call it? Anorexpril? Novembullima? If only we could speak to the Mo Bros and ask them for a pass this year…
I digress. Sorry. I guess the point is, it’s a new year, and there is loads you can do to change things up, plan better, lead a healthier lifestyle but treating all foods like the enemy isn’t the answer.
2018 is the year we should embrace science, not shun it, and I’m all for changing the way we eat and drink, generally to be more sustainable, better for the environment and overall better for ourselves; what I will not do though, is fall into a tribal calling or be guilted by poor understandings of science and welfare to give something up. Sure, cut back on things, do more exercise, have more “fun” with your partners, listen to more music and eat better quality chocolate, or meat, but don’t be a dick on social media and in the pub, drinking your tomato juice, about how you deserve a gold medal for your efforts. You don’t.
Happy New Year everyone, unless we’re giving up on that as well…